As a woman living with HIV, life can be difficult at times. I found out about my diagnosis after doing a random blood check. At first it was challenging coping with the situation; life was not perfect but my life was full of expectations, joy and dreams. I began having thoughts of dying, being mocked and judged and how I had let my family down, especially my children! I also thought about adhering to medication and my treatment plan.
I began playing the blame game with self-pity, all those awful feelings of being alone and having to lie constantly until it became my way of life. It was extremely challenging especially when my partner wants to have unprotected sex and “I have to be saying I do not have a stable home to raise a child or my family will put me out”, just so he will use a condom every time we have sex. LIES! Screams my subconscious. It was painful because I knew that it was because of my HIV status and I had no intentions of exposing myself, him and a child. I have now moved from the victim mode HIV had me in, I am alive, sexy, fabulous and proud!
I am here to do what I have to do and after all I have been through, life is worth living. I now try to live life as normal as possible, viewing HIV as any other chronic illness knowing that I am special a woman of dignity and pride standing up for other women living with HIV.
I am living life to the fullest and highest of its maximum being a positive woman with my outlook on life as I continue living with HIV.