I still remember the first time he hit me, frightened and in shock. I told him I was leaving, it just didn’t make sense to stay. I did not love him and had no desires of wasting our times. Guess he couldn’t have that or maybe he just decided that he wouldn’t.
It was a Monday morning, I got up and was prompted to begin packing my things. He questioned it and I blankly responded saying “we are not working out”. “I see it in your eyes” he said, “the love you have for him, you can’t even pretend”. I continued packing, ignoring him. Once I was through, I had a shower, got my things together and bid him ado. I had not made it far away from the door when I felt a grip on my right arm. I turned to face him and he went “where are my keys?” “Inside” I told him.
And there it began. He told me I was not leaving him, shoved me against the house, grabbed my bags and began emptying my things on the ground. I hit him… I know I was wrong but what else I was to do? He turned around and I saw darkness in his eyes. He squeezed my throat until I were paralyzed then he punched me in the right ear, I was unconscious although I were awake and aware. He took my life in his hands when he confiscated my purse and just walked away leaving me to stand there.
I found myself laughing but why was I? Certainly the situation was nowhere near funny I knew I was laughing though because I knew just what to do. I called an ex of mine whom is in the police force, he came to get me and I went to file a report against that criminal. As a woman and a mother my motherly instincts kicked in. Darn it! How compassionate are we even in adversities? I decided that I would not press charges against him. See, he is basically a single parent working a hand to mouth job, his employer is someone I know well and I was aware of the implications this ‘absentness’ would cause for him. He was order to let me come get my things and to repay all monies I had loan him within 10 working days.
He still denies that he had taken my purse and to make it even more disturbing he took ALL my underwear as well, who does that?
He still calls hoping that we will get back together, privates his number and just breathes into the receiver but I had decided that I would not change my number because he does not control me nor my life. Guess he finally got it, he hasn’t called nor texted in a while and I will say I am grateful for that. My friends tell me to beware, he may be the stalker murderer type. I smile and say “I am fully protected”.
Not many women can just up and walk away from an abusive situation or relationship but I am glad that the first time he hit me was the ONLY time he got the opportunity to do so.
Submitted by a participant in Ending violence against Women Sensitization session