Holding Your Own

Trust yourself. Trust what you know.
Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.
In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.
We don’t have to forfeit our truth or our power to others. That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.
When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center. We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear, and confusion. We can’t get our bearings when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.
This does not mean that we are never wrong. But we are not always wrong.
Be open. Stand in our truth. Trust what you know. And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.
Ask to be shown the truth, clearly—not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you, but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe.
Today, I will trust my truth, my instincts, and my ability to ground myself in reality. I will not allow myself to be swayed by bullying, manipulating, games, dishonesty, or people with peculiar agendas

Advertisements

Being Honest with Ourselves

Sophie Strachen

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.
When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.
When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.
When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what’s important to us, we can relay this to others.
When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.
When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.
When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.
When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.
When we have achieved self-love and accepted our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love.
When we’ve learned to stand on our own two feet, we’re ready to stand next to someone.
Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.

Taking Care of Ourselves

Taking Care of Ourselves

It’s healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That’s different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship-defeating behavior—a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized—because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don’t.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I’ve slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another’s feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.

Recovery

 

How easy it is to blame our problems on others. “Look at what he’s doing.”… “Look how long I’ve waited.”… “Why doesn’t she call?”… “If only he’d change then I’d be happy.”…
Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people’s hands. We call this codependency.
The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid, is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace—within ourselves. We know our happiness isn’t controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.
Then we decide that although we’d like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that’s better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.
Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That’s called recovery.
It’s easy to point our finger at another, but it’s more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.

Sophie Strachan

Murderer!!

You mister murderer! I would like to know what you get from killing women and children?

You make me question why it is so hard for you to just kill yourself when you are obviously the one with the problem. I am not willing to have you go to prison to eat MY money!

How would you feel if someone kill your family or child?

Please have a heart and stop for a minute. Look back on your life and think before you act.

God is watching you!

Contributed, A mother

Dear Mister Abuser…..

Dear Mr. Abuser,

This is your victim speaking so listen and listen good. You took my voice, you took my peace of mind, you took my trust that I had for men away from me. You took my heart and tore it into pieces.

I cried for you to stop but you did not listen to me. You ignored me and I hated myself, I blamed me for what you did to me. I thought that I made this happen to me, I thought I was responsible for all that happened and other persons blamed me too. I felt ashamed but no more will I be broken!

No more will I hold my head down in shame of what YOU did to me! No more will I  take the blame for you. I am taking back my voice and my life. Its time we start stand for our rights and the rights of other children who are being abused and then blamed for the cause of the abuse. They are not be blamed for the abuse nor the perpetrators; how is it that the abuser goes free and blameless thereby removing the voice of the innocently abused?
We will stand for what is what is right. We will no more be silent!

From Me To You

Dear Mr. Abuser,

I have observed your disrespectful behavior for so long recognizing that you are less than human. The damage, the hurt and pain you have inflicted on your wife and kids; and then call yourself a man.You are a monster! A worm… a nobody! Nothing but a common criminal.

How can you call yourself a father and a husband when you kick, box, punch, slap and verbally abuse those whom you say you love?

Your time is up Mr. The law is here to put you where you belong so you can stop being so evil and vile. You are an animal and you need to be caged. I’ve contacted CDA because you have violated the fundamental human rights of others. Yet still here you are free and at play. You have violated their rights to be happy but now you are going to pay!
Yours Truly,
V. Morgan – A fighter against violence