Positve Woman, Living With HIV

Posted byadvocacyhopePosted inWomen's Participation

As a woman living with HIV, life can be difficult at times. I found out about my HIV status after doing a random blood check.  At first it was challenging coping with the situation; life was not perfect but my life was full of expectations, joy and dreams.  I began having thoughts of dying, being mocked and judged and how I had let my family down, especially my children! I also thought about adhering to treatment and managing my treatment plan.

I began playing the blame game, and suffered from self-pity, all those awful feelings of being alone and having to lie constantly until it became my way of life.  It was extremely challenging especially when my partner wanted to have unprotected sex and I had to be saying ‘I do not have a stable home to raise a child’ or ‘my family will put me out’, just to make sure he used a condom every time we had sex. LIE! LIES! Screamed my subconscious. It was painful because I knew that it was because of my HIV status and I had no intentions of exposing myself, him and a child. I have now moved from the victim mode a HIV positive diagnosis had me in.  I am alive, sexy, fabulous and proud!

I am here to do what I have to do and after all I have been through, life is worth living.  I now try to live life as normal as possible, viewing HIV as any other chronic illness. I know that I am special, a woman of dignity and pride standing up for other women living with HIV.

My outlook on life as I continue living with HIV… I am living life to the fullest, striving to keep my self-esteem at its highest; a positive woman.

Submitted by

  • Ven, Promise, Nicky

Published by advocacyhope

The Jamaica Community of Positive Women (JCW+) exists to enable positive women’s empowerment, reaching of their full potential and recognition as productive citizens through programmes of Advocacy and Leadership Capacity Building.

13 thoughts on “Positve Woman, Living With HIV”

  2. Living with hiv can be difficult i was there it was difficult for me too but i am getting over it so just be the fabulous person you are that is what am doing.

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  3. Life goes on girl, HIV doesn’t put a full stop on life, think of HIV has your own special gift something that you treasure. Having this special gift it makes you take special care of youself and especially your health. So do you girl and remember to always choose two. # POSITIVE AN FREE.

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  4. Life can be difficult living with HIV especially with some opportunities that might pass. But hey !!!! Life is great i don’t have Ebola or cancer, this something i can manage. I didn’t ask or purchase HIV. HIV came in my life uninvited so it has to live with me and not define me. I am HIV positive and living life to the fullest.

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  8. Knowing my status does not put a damper on my life.Life is still worth living.I am special and proud and a woman of dignity.

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  10. There is so much that goes through the mind when one gets information that changes the way that you approach the rest of your life. Getting a HIV positive diagnosis is life changing information. Post traumatic stress level must now rely on resilience, the person’s ability to manage/ bounce back. The amount of and quality of support received (available? accessible?) will also influence that resilience.
    Self preservation is critical to managing real and perceive stigma. What feelings did I have about HIV and people living with HIV before getting a HIV positive test result? Have these feelings changed?
    Disclosing HIV status to family or sex partners can be very stressful. If you are not comfortable with HIV positive self then it makes it difficult to give the information to those who really need to know. Fear of rejection is so traumatic many miss the opportunity to get the much needed support from the place they want to get it. The fact that disclosure can result in violence is real ..but the evidence shows that the relationship that results in violence was NEVER a good one BEFORE the disclosure. The HIV knowledge of the persons involved especially the person living with HIV will also influence ho the disclosure is managed. So now I usually ask myself is the person important enough to get this information? Am I sharing the information to get rid of or to ascertain the amount of care this person will offer me on this journey? If the answer in my mind is not what I want to live with then the omission of the truth will be the choice made. Because I need to keep my personal power and not being honest is a burden I will then have to omit this person from my radar.
    So living positively with HIV can make you stronger in your self worth, enabled to move out of self pity and live life with dignity and self respect.
    More power to the women who submitted the blog, thank you for the motivation

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  11. I no longer see myself as a victim but as a SURVIVOR. I no longer care what people think or say about me. I am alive by the Grace of God. I am fabulous and I am proud. I have moved from the victim mode hiv had me in. I am alive, sexy and proud. I am living my life to the fullest and the maximum.
    I now have a positive outlook on life, because I know that my life Is not over now.

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